Saturday, July 28, 2012

Blimey! We Hereby Want to Be British!

I would like to thank the Brits for bringing Afghan Hounds over to their country. On behalf of the bipeds, I would also like to thank them for giving the world the Bard, Adele, The Beatles, Bowie, the Stones, Churchill, the Kinks, did I mention the Bard, Dickens, Twiggy, Julie Christie, Downton Abbey, Jane Austen, The Brontes, David Hockney, the Kooks,Idris Elba,Dusty Springfield. More to come. Off to have some shepherd's pie. Cheerio.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The auction has now officially ended and hats off to all those who bid and to the MOST GENEROUS WINNERS!
they are:

Liane Leist who bid $75.00 TOTAL for two sets of beautiful afhgan-adorned note cards donated by Kat.

Shannon Lydick, radarsp
op, whose winning bid of $50 tipped the scales for that tres chic hand-crocheted snood donated and made by Violet's and Justin's mom Bethanne.

Mary Fallon who wouldn't give up and submitted the earliest top bid of $28 for the fashionista animal print snood, another donation from Kat.

Finally Karen Dagenais who just couldn't sit the auction out. she missed out on the tres chic snood but came back to be the only bidder on the two wacky cracklers from the first round auction (donated by mois). Karen got the blue duck and pink buck-toothed bunny for $25.


May we all have Happy dogs.

love marla, devoted servant of Huck

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Dog Years

Meat Eater was walking me this A.M.  A woman stopped and said "oh what a beautiful gait your dog has!" (We love compliments).
Then she asked "How old is he?"
Me, I Barked
"Seven," Meat Eater replied.
I'm closer to eight, but hey this is L.A. everybody lies about their age.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What, Me Naked?

Piano Player laughs at this. He says I don't have to worry--I'm always naked. Then again, I don't take the bus often.,0,4290865.story

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Pinkelponkers Etc.

Looks like Vegetarian wrote about me in her garden column. She recommends Truffaut's Wild Child. Reminded of the tenderness in dogs and how far we came to be with mankind, she puts her head on my shoulder and cries. C'est la vie bipeds!   
Me I looked askance.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

How the Heck Did I Get to This!

Beatrice has been spayed. She has licked her hot pink stitches until her bipeds broke down and put this collar around her neck. Some who choose to see the glass as half full can imagine her as Queen Elizabeth. All she needs is a pair of heels. Those of us on all fours see it as humiliation. Beatrice looks conflicted. She has the happy pink tongue while her eyes are saying, "Why I oughta..."
B, my long-distance crush, I can only give you this advice: soon you'll forget it all and can go back to what we do. Me, I licked extra today for you.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Fuck you, Coco. Bugger off, Edge!

I am licking burrs. The Vegetarian has come over to the couch to pull them from my paws. Her caffeinated rant starts with with Coco Chanel...Nazi collaborator and now, in a new book, uncovered as a Nazi spy and rabid Anti-Semite. "Fuck you, Coco," she says. "And anyone who wears Chanel on the red carpet and sings her praises is on my shitlist. That includes you Rose Byrne (pictured), Keira Knightley, Rachel Zoe, Kathy Griffin, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone, Blake Lively....." She has a long list.
She tells the PianoPlayer: "I will throw out my bottle of Chanel 19, the signature perfume of my youth."
Next up: U2's The Edge, "You have too much money. You can't hide behind the label of artist. You need TO COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH, dude. This multi-whatever compound you're building, the one that destroys the ridgeline in Malibu, is hubris. You and your groovy architects should all be slapped around by Barbra Streisand. Hope this greedy land grab along with the shitty songs in your Broadway musical costs you your reputation as a rebel."
Now Vegetarian has finished reading the newspaper, having laughed out loud at Chris Erskine's always funny Saturday Man of the House column in LA Times.,0,3197436.column . She plants another of those deep mulch kisses on my overturned ear.
Me I licked.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

What do you mean funny, funny how? A guest column from my friend Maxy

Guest Columnist Maxy
There's a new breed of "artist." They don't suffer for their art; they make you suffer for it. First up, I hear the singer with a voice as lovely as a dental tool. Owee. Your art is hurting me. The smoking guy next door plays acoustic guitar with the finesse of a fart on a gurnee. His doctor prescribes an awesome amount of bed rest. Finally we have the Wampum artist who smiles when he tells you you are hated and waves his inky hands saying, "pay up." Hey I ain't no Warren Buffett. There's a recession going on.
Speaking of which, that "hip" slacker, in a fancy little stocking cap (in the summer!), new mustache and torn jeans, deserves a slap in the face. Nothing says non-conformity like standing in line for the ATM at B of A. So hey dude, do us all a favor and cover your mouth when coughing continuously behind us. Back off germ carrier or I'll bark!

HSUS IS GOOD, AMERICAN HUMANE ASSOC. SUCKS guest columnist Maxy weighs in

I've spent alot of years on the planet. Don't doubt me. When they were going to shoot deer in the North Shore hamlet of Highland Park, IL the only group that went on record against it was The Humane Society of the United States  Not PETA, not the local anti-cruelty society.

Next. This group that calls itself the American Humane Association is a shill for Hollywood movie studios. They have trademarked "No animals were harmed in the making of this movie." Ha! They were harmed. It's just been covered up. In fact the group has gamed the system. If you google them, the first hundred or so results are all linked to them and are oh so positive. Screw 'em.

Also, when we had proof that greyhounds were being taken from racetracks and used illegally in animal experiments at a major university, guess how much help we got from PETA? Zero. They just want your money and to hang out with Paul McCartney. They're a bunch of egomaniacs.

You know who's not a bunch of egomaniacs? Cleveland Amory's Black Beauty Ranch and The World Society for the Protection of Animals